SPAM Haiku: Sex

SHAM-1.
SPAM and Pam in pan:
"Meat" frying in "cooking oil."
Metaphor for sex.

SHAM-12.
SPAM as a sex toy:
Soft, safe, self-lubricated.
Afterwards: warm lunch.

SHAM-65.
Jack wants to father.
But why eat so much SPAM, Jack?
"My spam count is low."

SHAM-89.
I kissed you at lunch,
Your lips still shiny from the
Hot, freshly fried slice.

151.
Psych analysis:
imagine lingeried SPAM.
Sexy? You're kooky.

--Mike Lessacher, etlmllr@etlxdmx.ericsson.se

191.
The pinkness of SPAM
How it reminds me of you
It tastes like you too!

--Anonymous

201.
In regards to SPAM:
Sexual hangups aside,
It makes me feel strange.

--Stewart McKeever, mckeevers@cofc.edu

316.
Sexy smooth SPAM legs
waxed fatted and lyrical
straddle my porky

--Richard Cutting, cutting@cmc.cz

320.
When I look at SPAM
I soooo lasciviously
think of you and me.

--Richard Cutting, cutting@cmc.cz

322.
SPAM pass me the SPAM
Wow that's tongue from your big pork
Annoink my breasts Lord

--Richard Cutting, cutting@cmc.cz

332.
If she ate some SPAM
Attractive Cindy Crawford
Would never get laid

--John W. Phillips

360.
Across my dreams dance
Large-breasted women and SPAM.
Freud would be baffled.

--Rex Jones, rex@uis.msstate.edu

361.
Leaning to kiss her,
Smelling her breath, I thought of
Love and luncheon loaf.

--Rex Jones, rex@uis.msstate.edu

481.
Leering old codger
Entreats young girl from doorway--
"Want a piece of SPAM...?"

--jpollard@rdc.noaa.gov

486.
Autoerotic!
Open can, insert member:
Wham, bam, thank you SPAM!

--Jon Howell and Liam Friedland, jhowell@us.oracle.com and lfriedla@us.oracle.com

487.
So warm and squishy
One week in my underwear
Smell is horrible

--Dpotthast

507.
He proved his manhood
To the lunchroom girl with SPAM,
Swallowing it whole.

--Dave Schonberg

512.
Phallus made of SPAM
Although there's no threat of AIDS
There's cholesterol

--Chris Fishel, ctf2m@virginia.edu

527.
SPAM got hot, and shot;
spunk of SPAM is on my ham.
Wait twenty minutes.

--Anonymous

537.
Soft pink SPAMmy mass
I want to be one with you
My hands get clammy

--Alex Dunne, dunne_alex@jpmorgan.com

545.
I made love with SPAM...
...But some SPAM haiku should be
left unwritten...

--Alex Dunne, dunne_alex@jpmorgan.com

610.
Suggestive SPAM odes
Hint at flesh, warm and supple
Are you sweaty yet?

--Alex Dunne, dunne_alex@jpmorgan.com

664.
Tried to masturbate.
Suddenly, thoughts turned to SPAM.
Now I'm limp again.

--Anonymous

694.
twenty years of age
have not experienced SPAM
please be gentle SPAM

--Dawn M. Martin

904.
Does SPAM get confused
about its sexual pre-
ference? I hope not.

--Anonymous

916.
I like to use SPAM
as a lubricant, but I'm
not gonna tell where.

--Daniel Stuber

923.
Tied my wife down and
oiled her with SPAM Spread and wax.
SPAMomasochist.

--Jonathan Black

924.
I write SPAM haiku.
Day and night, nothing but SPAM...
I need to get laid.

--Jonathan Black

946.
"I want to gel you,"
breathed the short, squat, pink stranger.
Miss Hormel melted.

--Roy Hill

1049.
I dig strange sex tricks...
Tied my wife to dead donkey.
Masturbate with SPAM.

--Jonathan Black, damaginc@siu.edu

1050.
Necrophiliac
picnic. Bring a "cool" date and
a warm can of SPAM.

--Jonathan Black, damaginc@siu.edu

1051.
My personal HELL:
Cops fondle me on cactus...
...plus SPAM enemas!!!

--Jonathan Black, damaginc@siu.edu

1079.
Tied blender between
wife's legs. Ground up SPAM...SHE CAME
LIKE NIAGARA!!!

--Jonathan Black, damaginc@siu.edu

1088.
Lepers are good in
bed. They scream out in pain, and
their tits are like SPAM!

--Jonathan Black, damaginc@siu.edu

1089.
Penis shriveled up
like rotting SPAM. It's the third
stage of syphillis.

--Jonathan Black, damaginc@siu.edu

1157.
Looking for women
That is all my roommate does
While he devours SPAM

--Gene, Bob, and Jeremy, estairs@student.umass.edu

1306.
Beneath the armpits
SPAM gives one a manly scent
Drives all women wild

--Bob Kaimer

1391.
SPAM! (sex) SPAM! (sex) SPAM!
Subliminal commercials.
A Hormel secret.

--Bill Lafferty, mr_bill@ix.netcom.com

1462.
you can buy a nice
prostitute in vietnam
for a can of spam

--heightj@coral.indstate.edu

1472.
SPAM is X-rated
its wiggle seduces me
it makes my can glad

--Anonymous

1478.
Sweet pinkish jelly
Beckons me with sirens' call
Forget the KY

--Anonymous

1526.
Girlfriend's twat too wide--
Insert molded slab of SPAM.
Now she's virginal.

--Wiggy, dwigand@runet.edu

1527.
SPAM, a lust object
Taking the fruit of my loins
White goo dribbles down

--Wiggy, dwigand@runet.edu

1535.
i love the pink meat
how it's on my hard penis
when i masturbate

--heightj@coral.indstate.edu

1553.
Two dogs stuck fucking
Hormel brings some Vaseline
Pink cube on a stick

--Anonymous

1602.
Sexy soft pink SPAM
Wisely sheathed inside metal
Not much fun, but safe

--Douglas Staples, AnnikaDZ@aol.com

1605.
once upon a spam
pink hard warm inanimate
it's a perfect night

--goat@uiuc.edu

1611.
spam is not just meat
ultra aphrodisiac
if you're into that

--goat@uiuc.edu

1624.
Check is in the mail.
I'd never SPAM in your mouth.
I respect you, too!

--kevin kepley (the mathineer/poet), kpk@Storz.Com

1625.
SPAMclear power.
"It is safer than sex," say
Noted scientists.

--kevin kepley (the mathineer/poet), kpk@Storz.Com

1683.
A wild boar roots dirt.
The sanguine sow snorts slyly.
Wham, bam, thank you..."SPAM."

--Mike O`Connor (K.M.O`Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk

1693.
Hot loins aquiver
The tin opens wide and I
Start gargling the pink

--Chris Meagher, meagher@cimmetry.mfg.sgi.com

1793.
SPAM, pink like a girl--
just play with it, lovingly
form that special shape.

--Dan Auslander, dauslan@bgnet.bgsu.edu

1803.
For lubrication
As good as KY Jelly
And tastes better, SPAM.

--kevin kepley (the mathineer/poet), kpk@Storz.Com <- Send verbal abuse here.

2004.
Time for a quickie.
You look so pretty in pink.
Wham, bam, thank you, SPAM.

--Denise Kaisler

2090.
My Jewish girlfriend
naked, handcuffed, blindfolded,
doesn't know it's SPAM.

--Wiggy, DWIGAND@runet.edu

2092.
My tongue was worn out
Used SPAM for cunnilingus
She came forever

--Wiggy, DWIGAND@runet.edu

2093.
I carved a phallus
Sculpted from contents of blue.
Oh, dammit--it's limp.

--sarahb@lamar.colostate.edu

2212.
And do we really
need more jokes with the punchline
"Wham, bam, thank you, SPAM"?

--Chris "Grumpy Old Man" Fishel, ctf2m@virginia.edu

2215.
Basinger and SPAM
scene from 9 1/2 Weeks:
nixed, too explicit.

--Brigham Bell

2233.
I woke up today
Nestled with a can of SPAM.
Oh, no! Not again!

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

2329.
Oysters and SPAM mousse.
Superb aphrodisiac.
Revives the tired bits!

--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk

2406.
"I don't know about
SPAM," said Freud, "nor anything
Else, but, maybe, sex."

--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk

2556.
Spam launched from darkness
Five hundred million at once
Searching for The One

--Alice Bell, Sex Educator, Scott_Bell@mindlink.bc.ca

2557.
Spam drawn to ovum
Ignites mystery of life
born Ham or Spumin'?

--Alice Bell, Sex Educator, Scott_Bell@mindlink.bc.ca

2558.
Same combination
New, holy definition
Spam and eggs, buddy

--Alice Bell, Sex Educator, Scott_Bell@mindlink.bc.ca

2574.
Firm, slick, and salty
your thick pink form excites me
sliding from the can

--SD2, annaanna@eworld.com

2575.
Velvety-smooth meat
I take you in my mouth and
swallow the juices

--SD2, annaanna@eworld.com

2653.
One two three four SPAM.
One two three four five six SPAM.
One two three sex SPAM.

--Pete

2742.
Python song: "Every
SPAM Is Sacred." Wait. I think
That was something else.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

2744.
Marlon Brando used
SPAM in place of butter in
"Last Tango in Pork."

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

2755.
Have you ever seen
a SPAM centerfold before?
It is naked SPAM!

--El Supremo Number One Guy, rlowery@apollo.oursc.k12.ar.us

2817.
Worldwide pollution
"Human Spam Counts Decreasing!"
The silver lining

--Alice Bell, Sex Educator, Scott_Bell@mindlink.bc.ca

2865.
Warbles Juliet,
"Wherefor art thou, Spameo?
Fill me with your meat."

--mgeraty@fnbc.com

3058.
Sheik comes out with a
New Spamskin condom. Turns out
It's edible. Yuk!

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

3149.
SPAM is real sexy
I put it in women's clothes
And spank my monkey

--Brian

3150.
At this same moment
SPAM is oozing down my pants
Liquid fat tastes good

--Brian

3152.
SPAM arouses me
I like SPAM up my rectum
Once it got stuck there

--Brian

3197.
She eats SPAM today
She will eat SPAM tomorrow
SPAM gets her juicy

--Anonymous

3225.
But to have kids, Sire,
your SPAM count should be higher.
I am not kidding.

--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu

3255.
Using S-x and SPAM
I could write a good haiku.
If I only knew!

--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu

3259.
You take time to love.
You look longingly at SPAM.
Then you take it in.

--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu

3260.
She was exciting.
And the SPAM was inviting.
A great lust supper.

--herb hersh, ubhersh@uxa.ecn.bgu.edu

3282.
Darlin', you put your
Sugar in my tea, I'll slap
My SPAM on your plate.

--Martin H. Booda,booda@datasync.com

3309.
New York City sperm
Count blows away counts elsewhere...
Could it be the SPAM?

--Anonymous

3395.
SPAM fits inside me
Like a dildo it shakes me
My pussy goes wild!

--Anonymous

3466.
This versatile meat
Can be hollowed for a treat
Wham bam thank you SPAM!

--John Mitchell

3516.
SPAM is a woman
It's firm, it's juicy, it's fun
No one knows but me

--Matt Frederickson

3518.
SPAM is my hero
It's an aphrodisiac
It fills me with joy

--Matt Frederickson

3537.
Frosty SPAM milkshake
makes my loins crazy all day.
Nymphomania!

--Arch Angel

3667.
SPAM has quite a few
masturbatory uses.
Er...or so I've heard.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

3682.
Hormel sex scandal
President caught rubbing SPAM
On assistant's ass

--Seth

3742.
Anna Nicole Smith.
Just what makes 'em so darn big?
SPAM implants. No lie!

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

3825.
Polish survival
Kit: SPAM and condom. No shit.
Lord, the mind boggles.

--Martin H. Booda,booda@datasync.com

3965.
SPAM accused of rape!
Forensic evidence found:
SPAMatozoa

--Casey Gilbertson, casey@anv.net

4049.
"I'll spank you with SPAM
If you lick it from my toes."
--Fetishist's want ad

--Brian "Briku" Mitchell, Busterdog1@aol.com

4098.
Portnoy, as a boy,
finds the liver much too rough.
Uses SPAM instead.

--Bob Bendesky, MSA homepage

4118.
SPAM is good for sex
After making love I quip
SPAM Bam thank you ma'am

--Joe Ferrari, Charlotte, NC, faraway@vnet.net

4205.
Make some SPAM fondue.
Turn some Johnny Mathis on.
Chicks really dig it!

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

4206.
Drop a pinch of SPAM
in her glass of Chardonnay.
Aphrodisiac!

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

4207.
Oops: I just found out
that trick only works on cheap
trailer trash. Sorry.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

4214.
SPAM's good, SPAM is great
The intrinsic joy within--
I must masturbate!!

--Mark and Pete

4298.
Changing the channel.
I hear the ad: "Sex with SPAM--
Next, on Geraldo."

--Spamboy

4397.
My dog loves SPAM. He
Thinks it's cute, maybe on heat.
Must be the odor.

--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk

4399.
Aunt Mabel loves SPAM.
Makes her think of Tom undressed
And pink elephants.

--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk

4497.
The Kama Sutra
features a SPAM chapter that's
sure to turn you off.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

4503.
Oh SPAM you're so good!!
Substitute for a woman,
Makes you think, don't it.

--David Goodrum, david.w.goodrum@aasc.com

4596.
Crisco and K-Y,
axle grease, mud, and Jell-O:
Real men use SPAMLUBE.

--JJJ, nigle@netnitco.net

4607.
A newsgroup from hell
is alt.binaries.pictures.
erotica.SPAM.

--Anonymous

4608.
I used to love SPAM
But now abstain, since slicing
My member with can.

--Kevin Lockett and David Clark

4660.
A tin of pink SPAM
can last just as long as a
lifetime without sex.

--Anonymous

4681.
Got internet link,
Download cyber-SPAM pictures
From Holland: SPAM porn!

--Alex Dunne, dunne_alex@jpmorgan.com

4695.
Soft, pink, fleshy SPAM
Goes from yonic to phallic
Hardening with heat

--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com

4751.
At my confession:
"I love SPAM." "What, carnally?"
Hadn't thought of that.

--Francis Heaney, fheaney@dcdu.com

4776.
The man is ashamed
To tell the prostitute what
To do with the SPAM.

--Francis Heaney, fheaney@dcdu.com

4782.
With knife to your neck
SPAM is on my crazy mind
Want that from behind

--Anonymous

4796.
Catherine the Great,
according to rumor, was
crushed by falling SPAM.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

4799.
Coed asks of SPAM,
"Why does it taste so salty?"
Wait, it wasn't SPAM.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

4802.
A friend of a friend
told me that green SPAM is an
aphrodisiac.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

4810.
Beavis and Butthead
Make jokes about meat products
Not SPAM though I think

--Paul King, 5011.0836@trader.com

4812.
Perverted old man
Eyeing the pink meat with lust
S.P.A.M.B.L.A. member...shame.

--Monique Johnson

4818.
Woman of my dreams
Lying on the sofa nude.
Mmmm, those SPAM-like thighs.

--Monique Johnson

4821.
It caused my divorce.
He got jealous in the end.
Phallus carved of SPAM.

--Monique Johnson

4846.
SPAM between his cheeks
And yet he cannot taste it
"Squee like a piggy!"

--John Mitchell, JAM@altagroup.com

4867.
Creative sex nut
has sex with a SPAM meatloaf.
Bestiality?

--Josh Cortopassi, jcort@sirius.com

4893.
I came home early.
Found my wife in bed with SPAM.
"Pork me! Oh, pork me!"

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

4922.
I am surrounded
By cretins, like SPAM crust on
The rim of my glans.

--Martin H. Booda, booda@datasync.com

4960.
A horny Hindu
The Kama Sutra and SPAM
A phony yoni

--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com

4963.
Her bath is my broth.
The painted pork prostitute
Makes the water blush!

--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com

4964.
Aphrodisiac
Hormel pork shoulders of love
Wham, SPAM, thank you, ma'am

--Cholesterol 300

5009.
New! "As the SPAM Turns"
Soap opera 'bout pork meat
Rather than porking

--Cholesterol 300

5022.
Neil sure loves his SPAM
He licks the lining of tin
Now he is sterile

--David Barrison, scooby@pathcom.com

5096.
Her buttocks move with
An articulated twitch,
SPAM-pink, yet firmer.

--Francis Heaney, fheaney@dcdu.com

5584.
Obscene pork product
SPAM is a four-letter word
Hot porcine porno

--Cholesterol 300

5588.
Who needs those women?
SPAM is like Portnoy's liver
Cathartic release

--Cholesterol 300

5599.
The great lubricant.
I masturbate with canned meat.
So useful is SPAM.

--long-hair, long-hair@geocities.com

5604.
The Castle Anthrax.
The SPAM shaped beacon is lit.
And now, oral sex.

--Long-Hair, long-hair@geocities.com

5660.
"You would have swallowed
if you had really loved me."
She left him for SPAM.

--Eye

5661.
Energizer SPAM
It keeps coming and coming
till the juice is gone.

--Eye

5665.
Grab it! It feels good.
Mmm! Mmm! Finger-lickin' good...
(Hope no one saw that.)

--Eye

5667.
He stared at her tits
and she knew he'd be cheating--
hot SPAM on his mind.

--Eye

5673.
The best things in life
come in a can: beer and SPAM,
my boyfriend...sometimes.

--Eye

5674.
Will you buy me SPAM?
Will you love me forever?
SPAM by dashboard light.

--Eye

5675.
Ladies, quit nagging,
SPAM is better than a man!
Bite-size, no gagging.

--Eye

5676.
May I lick your meat?
You're addictive, you're so sweet,
Pink spot on the sheet.

--Eye

5689.
SPAM smells so sexy.
A little behind the ears,
And I can date cops.

--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com

5764.
you are a spamgot
SPAM leaks out of your gay butt
dripping down your balls

--Bill the Dill

5792.
SPAM is in a can
SPAM's lard is lubricating
Put some on yo' ride

--Anonymous/address>

5807.
Pale pink and fleshy
Caressed by clear gelatin
My thighs are like SPAM

--Hwei OH, ohh@mail.nj.com.au

5854.
Johnny "The Wad" Holmes
Boasted a fourteen-inch SPAM
No blue can could fit

--Jim Strange, strange@scs.unr.edu

5882.
Anna Nicole Smith
Nipples like SPAM pyramids
Made the old man grin

--LisaSteveDougJulie, yungward@serv.net

5910.
Hey baby, Why don't
You slide on over by me
And feast on my SPAM?

--Hans

5980.
Make love by the beach
Is there SPAM in the basket
Where shall I smear it

--M.W. Wild T.

5985.
MIT sex life
Vacuous, empty, devoid.
Good thing there is SPAM.

--Anonymous

5995.
My good friend Wilbert
Introduced me to this page
Stop spanking the SPAM

--M.W.Wild T.

5996.
Tear open a can
Contents smeared on my member
Scream in SPAMgasm

--M.W.Wild T.

5999.
Eating a hot SPAM
Naked man watches his porn
Would God eat this stuff

--M.W.Wild T.

6007.
I be SPAM virgin
Never poked, nor porked, nor pigged
Pour me all your SPAM

--VIRGIN

6067.
Using SPAM as lube
Imparts a whole new meaning
To the term "porking"

--Mary Holt, maryholt@flash.net

6078.
Where are my panties?
And, wait...where did the SPAM go??
Oh Francis, you pig!

--Eye

6108.
How the sweet pinkness
causes thoughts of lustfulness
and porkulescence.

--Hans C. Masing, hans@anecdote.com

6128.
Monkey spanking boy
Gave up woman's love for SPAM
Eat with left hand now

--wilbert

6130.
I draw her closer
But I doubt my intentions
I'm so full of SPAM

--space yr pidgin

6150.
Fatty Arbuckle
shoved SPAM up...On second thought
I'll just shut up now.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

6225.
Jelly on my hands
Slapping pink meat in my palms
SPAMasturbation

--MSB

6229.
Eat by candle light
Blow up doll and a blue can
Hormel romantic

--M.W.Wild T.

6236.
Garbage bags full of
the SPAM I used to make love--
That kid just ain't right.

--WILD T.

6241.
Monkey Spanking Boy
Stroke your SPAM in the kitchen
Don't step in that stuff

--MSB

6302.
My lubricant's gone
And I can't use Vaseline
So I'll use SPAM gel

--Uncle Jay

6317.
Alone, I stroke SPAM
And remember how you felt
You slimy bastard.

--Mary Holt, maryholt@flash.net

6337.
No piglets for you?
Just smear your porky member
With a SPAMicide.

--Mary Holt, maryholt@flash.net

6362.
Porno on the net
SPAM laying warm in my hand
Monkey Spanking Boy

--MSB

6547.
Quivering pink meat,
Jelly sliding all around,
Is it pork or porn?

--Reber Clark, rebermuse@aol.com

6551.
web surfing for sex
what are you doing she asks?
just writing spamku

--Anonymous

6573.
LIGHT A CIGARETTE
A DOG BARKS IN THE DISTANCE
ZIP UP; PINK SEMEN

--MANG STALLION, BC556@SCN.ORG

6605.
I could write some more
But, Spam's worn me completely
Out, like good sex can

--Jerry Mullens, drjerr@airmail.net

6642.
alone in my bed
humping my pretty blue friend
just me and my spam

--Richardb

6643.
faster, faster now
I spasmatically moaned
I'm almost home, spam

--Richardb

6647.
she is pink and blue
comes to me in dreams of spam
my bed is a mess

--Richardb

6648.
my dreams are of her
as I open her I wake
my hands holding spam

--Richardb

6649.
her blue shroud removed
her soft pink texture revealed
my tongue meeting hers

--Richardb

6662.
two blue can of spam
one lay on top other one
what da heck they do!

--manic mike

6793.
Barbie has no crotch
Lacking genitalia,
Ken can only watch

--Peter Simpson, Whaarfrat@aol.com

6794.
Plastic surgeon grafts
with SPAM: Ken's newest hobby--
Wham, bam, thank you SPAM!

--Peter Simpson, Whaarfrat@aol.com

6963.
slice it paper thin:
her white virgin breast heaves for
this wafer of love

--Peter Mullaney, pmullaney@alston.com

6996.
i make love to spam
it has just the right texture
and can't get pregnant

--elbert manabu shitamoto

7030.
Forgive me father
A sin made grisly pink flesh
The SPAM speaks of sex

--Shawn Nicolen, shawnn@tmn.com

7038.
No K-Y Today
Must find a substitute soon
SPAM in the cellar....

--dave and kevin

7040.
She declared strongly,
"SPAM is a contraceptive!"
I ran away fast.

--Elbert Manabu Shitamoto

7073.
I use SPAM in bed
Spams the shaft and doorknob's head
My SPAM's name is Fred

--Todd, skapunkfan@hotmail.com

7075.
After the movie
Took my love to my abode...
Got me a SPAM-job

--JakeFincher, thrash@webzone.net

7086.
Just read a SPAMku
About "night worker's semen."
How sick can you get?

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7095.
World War Two London:
Yanks with silk stockings get laid;
Yanks with SPAM get slap.

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7102.
punch hole in the can
pump my meat into my hand
hot spam erection

--funkin spam man

7121.
SPAM: great birth control
Makes lovers bellies so large
Genitals won't touch

--Cholesterol 300

7164.
I'm alone and sad
I could use some love tonight
My thoughts turn to SPAM

--Bob City, maccus@waymark.net

7175.
Dressed in blue but pink
All over when it comes out:
Transsexual SPAM.

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7201.
Get into the pink
For low-priced debauchery
Fall in love with SPAM

--Bob City

7226.
Mae West asks, winking:
"In your pocket--a cigar?
Or is that your SPAM?"

--Ira Slotkin

7285.
Hormel adds salt to
SPAM "for firmness." Mmm... Perhaps
I'll give that a try...

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7289.
I am The Spamman
I put SPAM in my boxers
Oh, erotic SPAM

--Tom Rylander

7295.
On the movie screen
The meat removes its clothing
SPAM pornography

--Tom Rylander

7329.
Monkey Spanking Boy
Repeat SPAM meat abuser
Caught with his pants down

--son of MSB

7346.
cold, gelatinous
a perfect cube of pink goo
good for kinky sex!

--Allison L. and Olin S., adlittle@unity.ncsu.edu

7412.
Woke up next to SPAM
We had wild sex the last night
SPAM kisses my neck

--Tom Rylander

7529.
So many SPAMku
suggestive of sex. Latent
Hormel-sexuals.

--Darryl Hand, codap@metrisc.metricanet.com

7537.
SPAM is always good.
Though you hate it you like it--
kind of like bad sex.

--Rommel Rosales Pucan, rrpucan@vm.sc.edu

7550.
Grinning cheerfully,
She asked me for the real meat.
I put SPAM in her.

--Michael, anyhtinggoes@geocitites.com

7559.
Monkey Spanking Boy
Makes wife of prison cell mate
Not as good as SPAM

--son of MSB

7569.
These SPAM sex acts: are
They bestiality or
Necrophilia?

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme

7570.
These SPAM sex acts: could
They be described as merely
A poke in a pig?

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme

7665.
SPAM, I love your feel,
As you slide down my boxers;
I am now a man.

--Anonymous

7666.
Horny about SPAM
Erection comes so quickly
Add own hot white sauce.

--Anonymous

7731.
Planet overrun
Beings who use SPAM for sex
Monkey Spanking Boys

--MSB

7766.
spam you suck my cock
while i'm jacking off at night
and you swallow too!!!

--abe, felucero@nmsu.edu

7769.
FUCK ME! SPAM! FUCK ME!
I LOVE IT WHEN YOU FUCK ME!
FUCK ME! SPAM! FUCK ME!

--Jesus Ramos, jesramos@nmsu.edu

7786.
My large purple meat
Spreading your smooth, pink, sweetness
SPAM, you are my queen

--Anonymous

7799.
Cheeks of SPAM are like
Virgin's inexperience
No satisfaction

--Lamoille County 40oz. Club, vt1phish@together.net

7809.
SPAM is good to me
I love you SPAM I love you
SPAM let's fuck tonight!!!!

--Maurenem me la CHUPA, maurenem@hotmail.com

7853.
Why is it that when
I think of sex, I picture
tasty, soft, pink bliss?

--Linda

7854.
My first orgasm was...
wild sex on bed of SPAM! Is
this site R-rated??

--Linda

7865.
Freakshow, wet and pink
I need sexual healing
Freakshow, wet and pink

--Emily

7880.
Make a SPAM dildo
Shove it up your ass you whore
Suck a dead pig's cock

--Kaptain Kabal

7881.
Necrobestial--
SPAM lust gave me leprosy
Now I am SPAM too

--Kaptain Kabal

7882.
Fist fucking SPAM chunks
Sodomy with cold SPILDO
Putrid pig blowjob

--Kaptain Kabal

7903.
I do dirty things
to pink meat from can. Oh yeah,
gotta love the SPAM!

--Aaron & Mo, sonofpa@utech.net

7908.
I like big tits and
I cannot lie SPAM you got
big juicy titties.

--abe, jesramos@nmsu.edu

7910.
We are going back
to SPAM to SPAM to SPAM to
eat your big pussy!!!!

--abe, felucero@nmsu,edu

7910.
We are going back
to SPAM to SPAM to SPAM to
eat your big pussy!!!!

--abe, felucero@nmsu,edu

7920.
Once I saw my dad
he was having sex, some man
Then I fucked some SPAM

--Jesus Ramos, jesramos@nmsu.edu

7925.
I'm going loopy
First I ate my own sister
Now I'm eating.....SPAM!!!!!!

--Matthew Barker 'Spaminator', psychofish@hotmail.com

7944.
During an orgasm
You could hear Marv Albert scream
"Yes! SPAM me! Yes! YES!!

--Wild T.

7974.
Auto-erotic
Greasy pink meat slides inside
SPAM(TM) or my boyfriend?

--Ray Russ, rruss@stanford.edu

8066.
SPAM formed by pressure
Supplement your skills for her
Hard as fucking hell!

--Anonymous

8078.
SPAM is quite sexy
It looks great in a pink dress
Marry me now, SPAM

--stumpy

8079.
we'll rendezvous spam
meet me at the motel 6
it'll be a blast!

--guinevere

8108.
Crystal likes the SPAM
Carl will dip his SPAM tonight
A Joey results

--jamie x

8110.
Young college students
Having no sex without death--
Opening to SPAM

--Carolyn Zaremba, carolyn@furth.com

8129.
Succulent pink flesh
Heaving cube of womanhood
Really need a date

--chris deneen, chrisdeneen@mindspring.com

8133.
Is SPAM great to fuck?
Pink, shiny, squishy, and moist.
Our answer is: yes.

--Anonymous

8161.
Like a fake orgasm
When friends serve SPAM for dinner
I fake enjoyment

--Uncle Jay

8164.
jelly-topped wonder
slithering out of its can
onto her firm breasts

--cody, cdd4775@usl.edu

8230.
Things I cannot change
Pound my SPAM on a brick wall
Impotent victim

--Wild T.

8255.
debauch or divine?
gross or erotic? oh, SPAM,
smear some more on me.

--mgeraty@atgsystems.com

8267.
Do you want my SPAM?
Cover me in your pink meat
Lick my member clean

--Wild T.

8271.
I can't sleep, can't eat
My nipples are hard for you
My love is my SPAM

--Wild T.

8322.
Wham bam thank you SPAM!
It's a hilarious joke
Play it again Sam

--Ken Koster, kkoster@leland.stanford.edu

8330.
my spam is in heat
yowling like an alley cat
wanting a good fork

--mgeraty@atgsystems.com

8333.
Originally
SPAM was intended to be
a sex lubricant

--Anonymous


Return to the SPAM Haiku Archive page.
John Nagamichi Cho


SPAM is a registered trademark of Hormel Foods Corporation for luncheon meat. The Haiku Archive Master and the contributors to this website have no legal, commercial or financial involvement with Hormel Foods. Neither the information presented here, nor the manner in which it has been presented, has been sanctioned by Hormel Foods.