SPAM Haiku 9801-9900

Move backwards to Numbers 9701-9800.


9801.
Gypsy caravan
Teller said "Beware the SPAM"
Nights have been sleepless
--Alex Woolery, captkeen@napanet.net

9802.
Unsuspecting SPAM
Enters flower and is trapped
Nature takes all in

--Alex Woolery, captkeen@napanet.net

9803.
Zen koan of sorts:
What is outside of the can?
Only the SPAM knows.

--Alex Woolery, captkeen@napanet.net

9804.
I don't know The Way
I pretend enlightenment
But SPAM will teach me

--Alex Woolery, captkeen@napanet.net

9805.
Indeed only SPAM
Can teaches one the true Way
Just a play on words

--Alex Woolery, captkeen@napanet.net

9806.
It is tasty fun.
It is fattening and fun
It is illegal

--anonymous

9807.
I have seen the SPAM
and it does look like SPAM. It
stinks, therefore it is.

--Murray, mwjansen@email.msn.com

9808.
Crimes against mankind
include murder, treason, and
a big mess o' SPAM.

--Little Shovel

9809.
A story of woe:
Trick-or-Treaters open bags
and find wet pink chunks.

--Little Shovel

9810.
It's easy to write.
Too difficult to swallow.
SPAMku and canned SPAM.

--Spamaniac, SpammerJammer@bop.ner

9811.
Shuah, I chewed SPAM once,
But ah nevah swallered it.
Ah know what's PC.

--William Jefferson C., history@vomit.bag

9812.
Values are like SPAM.
Gumming them to death, I learned,
We all gotta spit.

--ragi

9813.
SPAM implants work fine.
Dolly Parton says they do.
But beware of dogs.

--Airport Dawgs, Katz@serve.not

9814.
Flatulence and SPAM
Twins, separated at birth.
Only one smells good.

--Flatulina Amongus, Phrrrrt2once.not

9815.
Beans amplify SPAM.
Potentiated times ten.
Hike up the volume!

--Flatulina's Friend, Beano Not!

9816.
We had a pet fish.
We fed it SPAM every day.
Sigh. Our pet fish died.

--RosieSari

9817.
Flew over Greenland.
When we crashed, we ate canned SPAM.
Now I am nuclear.

--RosieSari

9818.
SPAM, the food of Death
Tearing my innards apart
SPAM, the food of Death

--Scott Dickison, sdickison@fmsmeng.com

9819.
SPAM self-awareness
Impervious gelatin
"The Spaminator"

--Jeff de Lapp, badblndboy@msn.com

9820.
Make a sandwich thus
(OREO of erstwhile meats):
SPAM on TREET on SPAM.

--Brad Lehman, bpl@umich.edu

9821.
What goes into SPAM?
Recycled bits of head cheese?
Nothing; SPAM is prime.

--Brad Lehman, bpl@umich.edu

9822.
A man, a plan, a
can o' SPAM, & maps on a
canal: Panama!

--Brad Lehman, bpl@umich.edu

9823.
Rosannadanna,
twenty-second century,
triumphs over SPAM!

--Brad Lehman, bpl@umich.edu

9824.
Tell me once again
That Aesop's fable about
The Hound and the SPAM!

--Brad Lehman, bpl@umich.edu

9825.
Look, off to the left!
It's a herd of spamalopes!
What hath Larson wrought?

--Brad Lehman, bpl@umich.edu

9826.
Avast, ye mateys!
Crack open that treasure chest...
Twelve cans o' SPAM???!!! Awrrrrrrrrrr!

--Brad Lehman, bpl@umich.edu

9827.
No, sir, I do not
Bite my SPAM at you, sir, but
I bite my SPAM, sir.

--Brad Lehman, bpl@umich.edu

9828.
Hectic life. No time.
SPAM sandwich and chips for lunch.
Sorry arteries!

--Penny deLapp, pdelapp@mgtassociates.com

9829.
I eat SPAM only
Winter, Spring, Summer and Fall
Boy does my ass hurt

--Paul Monaghan, monaghan@uconect.net

9830.
It's Pretty in Pink
Ringwald? No, the Ring of Fire!
Johnny you bastard

--Paul Monaghan, monaghan@uconect.net

9831.
It slipped down my throat
A pink vessel with White Stars
And the band played on

--Paul Monaghan, monaghan@uconect.net

9832.
Brick by brick, by brick.
At last, my moist pink fortress.
You feel lucky, punk?

--Paul Monaghan, monaghan@uconect.net

9833.
In the hot dog cart,
Dirty-Water SPAM frolics
With old friends, briefly.

--Paul Monaghan, monaghan@uconect.net

9834.
SPAMGLISH NOT ALLOWED
Saw that sign in New Delhi.
I went home to SPAM.

--Capt. Spamerica, theone@prodigy.ner

9835.
SPAM, all you can eat,
At Mr. Winkies take-out.
Well, it tastes that way.

--Newt Greengrinch, AnNOnyMOus

9836.
Yo lissen' up bro'....
Ghetto steak for all, Toonight!
Spam me mammy, yah!

--Morris Chester, Mo@aol.com

9837.
The Bible said it.
"We can't live on bread alone."
But SPAM's not mentioned.

--Doridan Hayes

9838.
Spread some SPAM on mat.
To see hordes of rug munchers
Rush out of closets.

--Ellen D

9839.
No "Blue Light Specials"
For SPAM munchers of the world.
Pay your top dollar.

--Salivationist's Navy, AnonMouse

9840.
Blue caskets of SPAM
Gather dust on grocer's shelves.
The graveyard of saints.

--Salivationist's Marine Corps, AnonMouse

9841.
When Tyson ate SPAM,
He lost to Buster Douglas.
Don King won again.

--Me Bad Box, Mebad@divenet.com

9842.
Monica ate the
Sick Presidential Aides Meal.
Lewinski loved it!

--Blewinski, Monica, Bleep me, I mean beep me Bill

9843.
When the pope ate SPAM
He began speaking Spanish.
Hormel milagros!

--Lefty G., Unlisted

9844.
Now listen up babes.
Firm, pink meat has no conscience.
Cross your lips to SPAM.

--Mums Mumbles, N/A

9845.
I salivate for
Glistening column of pink
Can not wait to lick

--Anonymous

9846.
Where does Hell exist?
Somewhere between loaves of SPAM
and Courtney Love's thighs.

--Little Shovel

9847.
It tastes like...jelly?
Well, it must be jelly 'cause
SPAM don't shake like that!

--Little Shovel

9848.
Panting dogs await
Key turns slowly on blue can
Dogs eat poop instead

--Kathie Reyer, kathie@tcid.com

9849.
Quivering pink cube
My death wish is now complete
I dig in madly

--Kathie Reyer, kathie@tcid.com

9850.
With my x-ray eyes
I can spy a pink delight
Through tin and aspic

--Enrico Seaveedra Guatamala, pivo@aol.com

9851.
Sweet rose petals fall
Valley deep tossed unconcened.
So too should canned SPAM.

--Aligator Dundoodoo

9852.
SPAM goes to the head.
Rippled waters, once serene.
Don't forget to flush.

--Hedda Hopper

9853.
Pink moon's a-rising.
Pentangles of SPAM are drawn.
And the she wolf howls.

--Capt. Jockstrap, Nateb@not.net

9854.
Lights out by ten girls.
All SPAM out by ten-thirty.
Virgins of Hormel.

--Merry Be, };-{>

9855.
It is fleshy pink
It comes from the tin plopping
It fills my sandwich

--Alison Dunne and Lisa Pickard

9856.
grasping your thin ring
vacuum-packed pork air whooshes!
smile of spam revealed

--Ron Suresha, rsuresha@spdcc.com

9857.
Like a cow gone bad
So too does SPAM blemish meats
It must be stopped! Now.

--Katherine, PopsicIgrl

9858.
Spamaholic Kate
Ate SPAM to help her lose weight.
She was a loser.

--Not For OA

9859.
Hormelphobic John
Just smelled it and he was gone.
PC?...No, not me!

--John D. John, JohnOnDjohn.com

9860.
Spamango ice cream
On a sticky summer's day.
Contented yuppies.

--Sterling Rockford, Srock@die.net

9861.
Some pigs die squealing.
Thus, SPAM is lubricated.
Silence of the pigs.

--Howdy Y'all

9862.
Ghetto behind me.
I still keep SPAM in da house.
Makes a good door stop.

--Charles Smith

9863.
Ground SPAM in cold beer.
So cleansing and refreshing.
Bulemic cocktail.

--Rusty Waters, rus@compnet.com

9864.
Bag lady cookies.
Main ingredient is SPAM.
You just can't eat one.

--Flatulina Fibbius, Phrrrt@once.com

9865.
Flip SPAM on the coals.
Ignite it, wait ten minutes.
Now grill your burgers.

--Agood Recipee, Chuck@aol.com

9866.
Autopsies do show,
SPAM's the undertaker's friend.
It don't leave no wounds.

--Anonymous

9867.
Endlessly drifting....
Hormelorific odor.
Looking for its place.

--SPAMkuku, OUbitme Japan

9868.
See how it glistens,
Gelatinous pink substance,
Meatoid enigma.

--David Franks, chautauqua@feist.com

9869.
With pineapple rings,
Criss-cross gashes, stuck with cloves!?
Who ever bothered?

--David Franks, chautauqua@feist.com

9870.
Much SPAM writing done
Ten thousand mighty efforts
Moment of silence

--Ross B.

9871.
Must a SPAM haiku
Conform to the rigid box
Like SPAM does?

--Brad Lehman, bpl@umich.edu

9872.
I called my dog "Spam."
"Heel" I said and "drop that bone."
Then he bit my heel.

--Anti-Spamist, gregory@aol.com

9873.
Cold SPAM and hot beans,
Go together though it seems
A dreary duo.

--MD Pepper, urapepper@last

9874.
Building blocks of life
Are composed of Hormel SPAM.
And so's our outhouse.

--Whomping Good, Anonymous

9875.
SPAMness perMEATes
The disposal sits waiting
I squeeze the on switch

--Garb Age, anonmous

9876.
Clinton's big mistake
SPAM Vodkas with Yeltsin made
Albright's butt look cute

--SPAM-Boo

9877.
Bob was a can of
SPAM! And he was eaten up
so up your toilet!

--Boon Whoon McGoon, Mad R McG

9878.
Hawaiian breakfast
for most locals and haoles
SPAM and eggs and rice

--Mike Cusick, mjcusick@sttl.uswest.net

9879.
On china by Spode
Eat only on the commode
SPAM pie a la mode

--Yuppisux, Harvard.edu.nut

9880.
Man...in the nineties
Trichinosistic being
Eat SPAM and Sueeey!

--TV Lawyer, 1-800-Sue4you

9881.
Stuff hog guts with SPAM
Or is SPAM stuffed with hog guts?
Bill Clinton should know

--Strap Me Down, Moose@crossing

9882.
SPAM implants here free
If you want one just "Suuuueeey"!
Ride 'em high with me

--Hilife, Hi@the moment

9883.
Frogs do not eat SPAM,
And they "croak" every evening.
Don't croak, eat your SPAM.

--Tadpole, Mudpuddle@last

9884.
SPAM is domestic.
Foreign matter never found.
It was never lost.

--Red, White and spAMERICAn Blue, Buy USA Today

9885.
Russkies had no SPAM,
They crumbled to their Kneecaps,
"Lewinskied" themselves.

--Red, White and spAMERICAn Blue, Buy USA Today

9886.
I submit SPAMku,
But cannot bite and chew words.
I waaa-waaa want SPAM!

--None Entered, None Entered

9887.
Pink Panther of SPAM
Mustard runs down his left leg
Endangered species

--Spamwitches, Halloweenie@last

9888.
I kept repeating:
SPAM is the way and the light.
But Lord, did I stray.

--Jimmy Swaggart, sendme$$@once

9889.
SPAM in the sunshine
It flutters delightfully
Maggots turn to flies

--Come Fly With Me, Anon.

9890.
Creative juices
Flow like plum nectar. Could be
Glop from the SPAM can.

--David Franks, communist@commie.com

9891.
Coat thy pan in PAM.
Not for lamb, nor ram, nor ham
but for SPAM, for SPAM.

--Josh Draper, jhd@quokka.com

9892.
I wander alone
With my can of SPAM, silent
Ahhhh, the tangy salt

--Spencer Schneidenbach, prncsmary9@aol.com

9893.
Work sucks, life is rough
Lunch hour is never enough
SPAM tastes great on bread

--D$

9894.
your can is empty
you are gone from me my spam
my eyes fill with tears

--mick, mickwatson@hotmail

9895.
SPAM, your mystery
flavor haunts my nightly dreams.
I have to have more!

--mick, mickwatson@hotmail

9896.
rubber cube of pink
it's naked to all the world
spam has feelings too

--mick, mickwatson@hotmail

9897.
senses awakened
the blue can sits before me
lunch is now complete

--mick, mickwatson@hotmail

9898.
A pink Spamingo
Floridian waterfowl
Perches on two sticks

--KENtucky Fried Spam, colonel@gripe.net

9899.
Brandy, SPAM me please
You are my salt and pepper
Seasons come and go

--Mr. Winkie, anon.

9900.
Spamdango...olé!
Your juices ran down my leg
Dancing with hot SPAM

--Arthur Moray, Fleet@enima.coma


Move forwards to Numbers 9901-10000.
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John Nagamichi Cho


SPAM is a registered trademark of Hormel Foods Corporation for luncheon meat. The Haiku Archive Master and the contributors to this website have no legal, commercial or financial involvement with Hormel Foods. Neither the information presented here, nor the manner in which it has been presented, has been sanctioned by Hormel Foods.