SPAM Haiku 4401-4500

Move backwards to Numbers 4301-4400.


4401.
The dichotomy:
Steaming piles of corn meal, or
Cold gleaming pork bits?
--molly carocci, molly@wi.mit.edu

4402.
What to do? He waits,
Then asks the others with me:
"Side of beans or rice?"

--molly carocci, molly@wi.mit.edu

4403.
I am all alone
A world of inedibles
Only I can choose.

--molly carocci, molly@wi.mit.edu

4404.
The only thing left:
"I guess I'll have the SPAM, please."
Now they'll all love me.

--molly carocci, molly@wi.mit.edu

4405.
SPAM haiku for Tom
Uproarious laughter here
Boss will have your job

--Scott Stanford, sstanford@mca.com

4406.
Surreptitiously
Placed in your scrumptious dessert
Call the mortician

--Scott Stanford, sstanford@mca.com

4407.
Intestinal scourge
Gelatinous, pernicious
Death sentence for sure

--Scott Stanford, sstanford@mca.com

4408.
SPAM as your dinner
Gastroenteritis is
Inevitable

--Scott Stanford, sstanford@mca.com

4409.
SPAM killed Sweet Lenore
Quoth the raven, "Nevermore"
Ravens don't eat SPAM

--Scott Stanford, sstanford@mca.com

4410.
Transcendental art
The sound of one hand clapping
SPAM haiku is Zen

--Scott Stanford, sstanford@mca.com

4411.
Globulicious. Del-
icious and nutritious. Ugh.
I'm going to faint.

--Dennis Harris, dharris@bluemarble.net

4412.
How do you like them?
I'll take my eggs Spambled (tm) please
Bocuse weeps once more

--john.thornton@state.or.us

4413.
SPAM you luscious treat!
Fully cooked and ready t' eat
The working man's squab

--john.thornton@state.or.us

4414.
Escoffier lives!
Layer SPAM, eggs, cheese, and toast
C'est tres Spamtastique!

--john.thornton@state.or.us

4415.
See how the fish dive
For the greasy flecks I flick.
See how the fish float.

--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com

4416.
At the senior prom
I give her a SPAM corsage.
Jealous girls giggle.

--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com

4417.
Hansel and Gretel
Mark their trail with bits of SPAM.
Next day it's still there.

--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com

4418.
Tofu and spices
The ingredients of SPAM?
Yeah--in a pig's eye!

--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com

4419.
The vegan tries SPAM.
From his stomach's inferno,
Angry grunts arise.

--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com

4420.
The Fourth of July
Red SPAM, white corn, blue Jell-O
I salute the flag!

--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com

4421.
Carve SPAM like a tongue,
Stick it through your teeth and bite.
Animal House fun.

--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com

4422.
Necks snap in the snow.
Packs yield coveted blue cans.
Cold-blooded yeti!

--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com

4423.
Put SPAM in the bath.
Guests who mistake it for soap
Emerge pork perfumed.

--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com

4424.
When giraffes vomit,
It's a long, long, long way up.
That's why they shun SPAM.

--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com

4425.
The SPAM tin's no fine
and private place / Too many
pigs do there embrace.

--Chris Fishel, ctf2m@virginia.edu

4426.
An Olympic long
jumper's secret: eat SPAM and
make your own tailwind.

--Chris Fishel, ctf2m@virginia.edu

4427.
New Hormel plant site?
Locals acronymically
cry out, "SPAM? NIMBY!"

--Chris Fishel, ctf2m@virginia.edu

4428.
Car on the highway
Plates read "SPAM 5-7-5"
It's the SHAMobile

--Chris Fishel, ctf2m@virginia.edu

4429.
Zen is paradox
At once I am SPAM but not
Understand this "meat"

--Scott Stanford, sstanford@mca.com

4430.
Forcefulness of SPAM
Violence to maintain peace
SPAM as martial art

--Scott Stanford, sstanford@mca.com

4431.
Prince of lies, this Beast
Mephistopheles my name
You know me as SPAM

--Scott Stanford, sstanford@mca.com

4432.
Thought to defame SPAM
Quickly now, speaking to SPAM
Obsequiously

--Scott Stanford, sstanford@mca.com

4433.
Saw SPAM in a bar
"You looking at my girl, man?"
I'll kick SPAM's ass, bro

--Scott Stanford, sstanford@mca.com

4434.
SPAM haiku is great
John Mitchell has too much time
At least he's funny

--Scott Stanford, sstanford@mca.com

4435.
I am not insane
SPAM haiku has true merit
I saw Bigfoot once

--Scott Stanford, sstanford@mca.com

4436.
Master of Puppets
Ride the Lightning, Kill 'em All
And Justice for SPAM

--Scott Stanford, sstanford@mca.com

4437.
Endless summer heat,
Waves rise up from the pavement,
And the SPAM sizzles.

--Michael Davis

4438.
The workers suffer
The mainframe came down last night
Programmers eat SPAM

--Michael Davis

4439.
Hunger gnaws my soul,
Pull-tab gone, SPAM trapped inside,
I weep bitter tears.

--roy@indy.net

4440.
SHAM thinks hard on SPAM
Is it love? Or is it hate?
SPAM is his reason

--Scott Stanford, sstanford@mca.com

4441.
I'm cruising the Strip
SPAM can hangs from my mirror
Hot babe next to me

--Charles Campos, camp7625@mailserv.edmonds.ctc.edu

4442.
Oh! What SPAM is this?
Abundantly beautiful!
Not for the eating.

--Scott Stanford, sstanford@mca.com

4443.
Give me a Can-O
Spam-O. Dear God it looks like
Pig-innards Jell-O!

--Steve Teffenhardt, Teffy68@aol.com

4444.
Ate every piece
Do not want to defecate
Keep it forever

--scott stanford, sstanford@mca.com

4445.
USA Network
Two-day SPAM-a-thon ensues
Out of CHiPs re-runs

--scott stanford, sstanford@mca.com

4446.
Evil embryo!
Taut membrane stifles escape.
Don't pull the flip tab.

--Whit Fisher, fisher@voyagerco.com

4447.
Japan in danger!
Spamera engulfs cities!
Mothra will save them.

--Whit Fisher, fisher@voyagerco.com

4448.
The day's icy dawn.
A winter looks for the spring
and the hue of SPAM.

--bchubb@dc.dynares.com

4449.
Got me a new car
Runnin' three hundred horses
Dual overhead SPAM

--scott stanford, sstanford@mca.com

4450.
Football starts this month
SPAM Franciso will go down
To Dallas again

--scott stanford, sstanford@mca.com

4451.
Devilfish: harmless.
Terror of the deepest sea.
Seven foot wing-SPAM.

--scott stanford, sstanford@mca.com

4452.
Sensing his need grow,
she knelt obediently
and opened the SPAM.

--Opie, 75201.77@compuserve.com

4453.
Love that salty taste
SPAM cutlets fried to a crisp
With mayo and toast

--Anonymous

4454.
A mouthful of SPAM
Elicits comparison
With sweaty gym socks

--Mike, rogers@aztec.lib.utk.edu

4455.
SPAM--tasty pink meat,
A fulfilling lunchtime treat,
Pork buttholes and feet.

--Mike, rogers@aztec.lib.utk.edu

4456.
Michael Jordon flies
And dunks another two points;
Gotta be the SPAM.

--Mike, rogers@aztec.lib.utk.edu

4457.
Rescue in Holland:
Boy saves village from flood by
Plugging dike with SPAM.

--Mike, rogers@aztec.lib.utk.edu

4458.
Pan, magical Pan!
One half goat, other half SPAM.
Can you tell which half?

--scott stanford, sstanford@mca.com

4459.
Dutch friend says to me,
"Just Americans hate SPAM.
We eat it a lot."

--scott stanford, sstanford@mca.com

4460.
Windmills make sense now
Heineken, heroin, SPAM...
Gives you gas, I'm sure

--scott stanford, sstanford@mca.com

4461.
Want to lose ten pounds
Reading SPAM haiku for hours
Anorexia

--Anonymous

4462.
Hiss of op'ning can
This is the way the pig ends
Not with bang but slime

--Anonymous

4463.
2000 A.D.
SPAM found to cure all disease
Where have the pigs gone?

--cconner@eohsi.rutgers.edu

4464.
Je mange encore SPAM
Corps de gelee rose et graisse
Me fait degoutter

--john.thornton@state.or.us

4465.
J'achete le SPAM frais
Hache c'est pate d'cochon
L'hors d'oeuvre facile

--john.thornton@state.or.us

4466.
Filet de SPAM light
Gastronomical delight?
Intestinal fright!

--john.thornton@state.or.us

4467.
Do not go gently
Into that fresh can of SPAM--
Dig deep with gusto!

--Laura Hasenstab, 2946lh@fuse.net

4468.
mehitabel and
archie share a can of spam
dead roach on space bar...

--Laura Hasenstab, 2946lh@fuse.net

4469.
Roseanne opens SPAM
Conner Thanksgiving takes place
"Family Found Dead!"

--Laura Hasenstab, 2946lh@fuse.net

4470.
Sixteen hundred bucks
computer cpu and
monitor. For SPAM?

--Laura Hasenstab, 2946lh@fuse.net

4471.
No more SPAM haiku
Far too busy to read them
Wait...Inspiration!

--Travis Smith, nep@hop.com

4472.
May as well be spew
Overprocessed pig liver
One guess, YES, it's SPAM

--Zoe

4473.
Short pink wobbly meat
Salty in the seaside sun
Baywatch Spamela

--Anonymous

4474.
Kubrick? Yes, he is
Well suited for SPAM Haiku.
Like A Clockwork SPAM.

--Martin H. Booda, booda@datasync.com

4475.
Korova MeatBar
Sold SPAM, sharps you up for the
Old ultra-pinkness.

--Martin H. Booda, booda@datasync.com

4476.
And who can forget
The scene in The SPAMming where
Kid screams, "MAPS! MAPS! MAPS!"?

--Martin H. Booda, booda@datasync.com

4477.
When HAL refused to
Open lid, Dave fed it SPAM.
"My mind is going."

--Martin H. Booda, booda@datasync.com

4478.
"Slow down," she whispered,
now guiding my trembling hands,
"Turn the key slowly."

--mk@sonic.net

4479.
Hiker asks for MAPS.
Dyslexic clerk sells him SPAM.
Can't get there from here.

--Krink, Falls Gulch, VA

4480.
She eats SPAM today
She will eat SPAM tomorrow
SPAM gets her juicy

--Anonymous

4481.
The SHAM's Tasty Picks
Number 4 contains a bug.
Those damn italics!

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

4482.
On the Russian space
station Mir, they have no SPAM.
Can I go there, please?

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

4483.
Air conditioning
on the fritz? Don't sweat it: Put
cold SPAM on your head.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

4484.
Jeremy Hudson
Did an assembly on SPAM
It was very good

--Arkadesh

4485.
Twelve pigs live on farm
Farmer makes a batch of SPAM
Still twelve pigs on farm

--scott stanford, sstanford@mca.com

4486.
Pam Dawber and Mork,
Pam Anderson on the beach:
PAMS better than SPAM

--scott stanford, sstanford@mca.com

4487.
Smoke alarm cooking
a drag? Spray the pan with Pam
to fry the SPAM, ma'am.

--zbaird@cjnetworks.com

4488.
Jack Kevorkian
builds a machine that drips SPAM
into people's veins.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

4489.
Microscopic life
found in Martian meteor.
But no food in SPAM.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

4490.
"Think you used enough
dynamite there, Butch?" "No, there's
some SPAM left, Sundance."

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

4491.
Freddie Prinze starred in
the classic Seventies show
Chico and the SPAM.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

4492.
Friends and co-workers
hear about this spamku stuff
and ask, "Are you nuts?!?"

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

4493.
Vader grabs rebel
by the neck. "Where is the SPAM
you intercepted?"

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

4494.
Luke Skywalker looks
for Obi-Wan; he's attacked
by the SPAM People.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

4495.
Johnny Rotten sings
that, for pigs at Hormel, there's
"No future for you."

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

4496.
The Kama Sutra
features a SPAM chapter that's
sure to turn you off.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

4497.
King Edward the Eighth
abdicated to pursue
his deep love of SPAM.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

4498.
"Stop that creature! It's
stolen the Illudium
SPAM Modulator!"

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

4499.
SPAM, how I love thee.
Let me count your fatty cells.
Fill me with your love.

--David Goodrum, david.w.goodrum@aasc.com

4500.
Sweet SPAM dripping down,
pieces coming off my brain.
I wish I were you.

--David Goodrum, david.w.goodrum@aasc.com


Move forwards to Numbers 4501-4600.
Return to the SPAM Haiku Archive page.
John Nagamichi Cho


SPAM is a registered trademark of Hormel Foods Corporation for luncheon meat. The Haiku Archive Master and the contributors to this website have no legal, commercial or financial involvement with Hormel Foods. Neither the information presented here, nor the manner in which it has been presented, has been sanctioned by Hormel Foods.