SPAM Haiku 14701-14800

Move backwards to Numbers 14601-14700.


14701.
Life prior to SPAM
was a cold, meaningless void.
SPAM, essence of life.
--Zoinks, jsikes@email.com

14702.
Canned porky pig pad
Doubled as a sink sponge. Now
All is spick-and-SPAM!

--cjereb@dttus.com

14703.
SPAM inside the can
Or even on the outside
It's still volatile

--Hazen W, aizudude@aol.com

14704.
To write about SPAM
In seventeen syllables
Can be very dif...

--Francis Haines, Francis.Haines@gissings.co.uk

14705.
SPAM. Chopped Pork and Ham.
Is that really what it is?
I think not, somehow.

--Jamie Gladden, jamieg@syslogic.com

14706.
Prankster buys Grade A's
In bulk. Spies SPAM. Pink-hued light-
Bulb goes off inside.

--cjereb@dttus.com

14707.
Never eaten SPAM?
Just don't let it stop you from
Savoring SPAM-ku.

--cjereb@dttus.com

14708.
To liberate me
To please me with tasty SPAM
Rub it on my chest

--elreekie, elreekie@aol.com

14709.
Hey come over here
Whoa! A SPAM chunk in your teeth!
You have real class man

--elreekie, elreekie@aol.com

14710.
Shelf life infinite
SPAM the support of all life
It won't betray you

--elreekie, elreekie@aol.com

14711.
Gelatinous cube
How do you receive that shape?
Prism of pig butt

--Tom Morris, kg4cyx@yahoo.com

14712.
Squish SPAM in your toes
Mix it with hairy toejams
Chunky and funky

--Elreekie, Elreekie@aol.com

14713.
OH MEAT UN-LIKE HAM
SALTY HAM-LIKE MEAT, BUT NOT
ON BUN, WITH KETCHUP

--Lew Turner, lewkare@aol.com

14714.
SPAM sits on a rock;
Is it the only one here?
SPAM and Booda; Yup.

--John Schaaf, SkierPro1@aol.com

14715.
SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM
SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM
SPAM beautiful SPAM

--Anonymous

14716.
I'd kiss you now, dear
a delightful meal, but your
breath smells of mutts' nuts.

--Anonymous

14717.
silent meat lozenge
shines with gelatinous goo
why do you beckon?

--Clinton Wolfe, clwolfe@indiana.edu

14718.
And Now a SPAM Ku
With a real weak opening
And a worse ending

--Nate Smith, thepeel@bananaman.com

14719.
A SPAM Commercial
Happy Family Eating...
The Other Pink Meat

--Nate Smith, thepeel@bananaman.com

14720.
Thin Slices of SPAM
Wrapped Gently Around A Light
A Sexy Pink Glare

--Nate Smith, thepeel@bananaman.com

14721.
Pink meat ritual.
Unholy investiture.
PentaSPAM is born.

--Chuck Beard, cnbeard@multipro.com

14722.
Monolithic block.
Looming on the horizon.
Ape brandishing key.

--Chuck Beard, cnbeard@multipro.com

14723.
Experimental
SPAM coloration failure
Green eggs and SPAM test

--Chuck Beard, cnbeard@multipro.com

14724.
I lost the SPAM key
I'm forced to open the can
With my power tools

--Chuck Beard, cnbeard@multipro.com

14725.
Radiator leak
Press SPAM into the damage
Heat will cure it there

--Chuck Beard, cnbeard@multipro.com

14726.
Searing SPAM in flame
Observe, there are no grill marks
It is synthetic

--Chuck Beard, cnbeard@multipro.com

14727.
It's a medical
breakthrough from the past, it is
artificial flesh.

--Chuck Beard, cnbeard@multipro.com

14728.
hidden in the can
is a treasure of taste, it's
tasty pork goodness

--Chuck Beard, cnbeard@multipro.com

14729.
thick greasy slices
fried crisp within boiling lard:
bad cholesterol

--Matthew Rubi, mrubi@lacdc.org

14730.
Challenge in Kitchen
Stadium -- the Iron Chefs
must labor with SPAM.

--Scott Smith, ssmith@us.edu

14731.
Sultry can of meat
Let fly with your sweet perfume
You taunt my tube steak

--Airiq-1

14732.
Pink and jelled, oh YEAH
I yearn to remove the can
And take you right now

--Airiq - 2

14733.
Loving you is hard
Just one SPAM-slam-thank-you-ma'am
Who will understand?

--Airiq - 3

14734.
i eat SPAM all day
mold it into animals
playful finger food

--SPAM gurl

14735.
wet, slobbery glop
my dog eats it any day
maybe its his tongue

--SPAM gurl

14736.
SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM
Squirrels, Possums, And Monkeys
Roadkill on the street

--SPAM gurl

14737.
multicultural
Asia to America
tastes good in fried rice

--SPAM gurl

14738.
One SPAMku a year
Helps keep that void in my life
Free from sick ole' SPAM!

--Trevor Eldredge, trevor@rhodesbread.com

14739.
Thinking back to when,
I keyed opened that blue can.
Throwing up more SPAM

--CURHAN

14740.
American Pie
remade with SPAM, instead of
apples, anyone?

--scumbag

14741.
Por que pig? C'est bon!
Ah, sweet mystery of shelf
Life I have found you

--FastFilm, FastFilm

14742.
Place the can of SPAM
under my car tire just so.
Presto! A lube job!

--Mark Silva/Faroudja Laboratories, Inc., msilva@faroudja.com

14743.
A glob of pink goo
Sits on my dinner plate now
And stays, unwanted

--Scumbag

14744.
I like processed meat
It's a yummy yummy treat
So get out the SPAM!

--Nevielle, bo11ocks2ya@hotmail.com

14745.
Existential angst:
despite its zesty flavor,
SPAM won't fill the void.

--Fozzie

14746.
Selfish of my SPAM?
Hands off, brother! Wars have been
fought over less. Back!

--Fozzie

14747.
i like to eat SPAM
every day you can eat SPAM
it makes you horny

--Cyn70

14748.
Sexual and sweet,
Meaty, pink and unctuous.
Can be arousing.

--Anonymous

14749.
psychedelic SPAM
that's what elreekie gave me
to flee the matrix

--busty, wonderbusty@aol.com

14750.
An income tax tip!
Write off your million SPAM cans
Standard deduction

--Supersucka

14751.
Childhood mem'ry: SPAM
Reminds us why we bothered
Risking adulthood

--Scumbag

14752.
Determinists say
We have no choices, but SPAM
Argues for freewill

--Scumbag, leo.mazur@cec.eu.int

14753.
There are many sites
With "Haiku" in their title
Idiot SPAM reigns

--Anonymous

14754.
What meaning has life:
Alexei V. Andreyev;
Do Russians have SPAM?

--Anonymous

14755.
The senryu of SPAM
Unfold their sweetness slowly
Where's the fricking joke?

--Scumbag

14756.
Gift That Keeps Giving
Can Of Ham In My Stocking
Santa Brass Knuckled

--JohnnyMopp

14757.
Oh Pretty Pink Meat
Your Beauty Wows the Masses
Heaven in a Can

--Nate Smith, thepeel@bananaman.com

14758.
You open the can
And stare at what is inside
Delicous pink prize

--Matt Wetzel, Jixton@mediaone.net

14759.
I Run Track for Croft
And Follow his Track Diet
Does this mean no SPAM?

--Nate Smith, thepeel@bananaman.com

14760.
What is wrong with this?
I'm dazzled by the numbers
Fourteen Grand SPAMku!

--Matt Wetzel, Jixton@mediaone.net

14761.
When Cut Correctly
By a Proper SPAM Artist
Edible Artwork

--Nate Smith, thepeel@bananaman.com

14762.
At home all alone
What to prepare for dinner
Entirely SPAM

--Matt Wetzel, Jixton@mediaone.net

14763.
You Like this Puddy
The Beauty of the SPAM-Ku
And You're Missing Out

--Nate Smith, thepeel@bananaman.com

14764.
All lined in a row
Stacks of SPAM in the shelter
Waiting for the bomb

--Matt Wetzel, Jixton@mediaone.net

14765.
Mechanically
separated chicken is
not in our product.

--Chuck Beard, cnbeard@multipro.com

14766.
Dad would often cook
SPAM, macaroni, and cheese
Childhood memory

--Susu, SusuToo@aol.com

14767.
Unnaturally
pinkish block of pork product
said to be undyed.

--Chuck Beard, cnbeard@multipro.com

14768.
SPAM does not have bones
Slice it with impunity
How were they removed?

--Chuck Beard, cnbeard@multipro.com

14769.
You're not authorized
to know what is in the SPAM.
That is classified.

--Chuck Beard, cnbeard@multipro.com

14770.
SPAM fnord SPAM fnord SPAM
You are not authorized to
Know what line one means

--Chuck Beard, cnbeard@multipro.com

14771.
to be one with SPAM
you must focus your chi and
absorb its essence

--Chuck Beard, cnbeard@multipro.com

14772.
sitting at my desk
composing SPAM haiku I
find I have no life

--Chuck Beard, cnbeard@multipro.com

14773.
SPAM can in a sock
makes an effective last-ditch
self-defense weapon.

--Chuck Beard, cnbeard@multipro.com

14774.
tragic glue mishap
has permanently bound a
SPAM can to my butt

--Chuck Beard, cnbeard@multipro.com

14775.
SPAM is flammable
Without its taste it would be
Alternative fuel

--Chuck Beard, cnbeard@multipro.com

14776.
Hormel tolerates
SPAM parody sites for the
free publicity.

--Chuck Beard, cnbeard@multipro.com

14777.
See how it bounces
when you drop it on the floor.
The dust adds flavor.

--Nick Johnson, NSJ0309@aol.com

14778.
An old, creaking door;
A can from times long since passed;
AH! The ghost of SPAM!

--Nick Johnson, NSJ0309@aol.com

14779.
Hormel helpdesk techs
are here to help you with SPAM
opening problems.

--Chuck Beard, cnbeard@multipro.com

14780.
frying SPAM in lard
assassination disguised
as a heart attack

--Chuck Beard, cnbeard@multipro.com

14781.
experimental
SPAM bullets violated
military law

--Chuck Beard, cnbeard@multipro.com

14782.
human genes are known
now scientists begin the
SPAM genome project

--Chuck Beard, cnbeard@multipro.com

14783.
people have composed
fifteen thousand SPAM ads here
Hormel should pay us

--Chuck Beard, cnbeard@multipro.com

14784.
immense destructive
forces are unleashed when SPAM
fusion is achieved

--Chuck Beard, cnbeard@multipro.com

14785.
SPAM can rusted through
glistening gel seeks out life
hazmat team en route

--Chuck Beard, cnbeard@multipro.com

14786.
starting to get tired
have probably submitted
same haiku three times

--Chuck Beard, cnbeard@multipro.com

14787.
SPAM flows out of can
glistening in the twilight
sickening wet splortch

--Chuck Beard, cnbeard@multipro.com

14788.
Dungeons and Dragons
(trademark) game in Bob's basement
SPAM golems attack

--Chuck Beard, cnbeard@multipro.com

14789.
test marketing SPAM
in a brand new flavor, it's
beef teriyaki

--Chuck Beard, cnbeard@multipro.com

14790.
she opens for me
i lick her meaty curtains
juices everywhere

--chris crewe, jungleboi@hotmail.com

14791.
snapping blue metal
cut thumb rises into mouth
blood mixed with SPAM juice

--Tom Lewis, tch@jps.net

14792.
I know I should floss,
yet I wish that SPAM's gristle
could linger longer.

--Fozzie

14793.
"That would be D: SPAM"
"Is that your final answer?"
I know this stuff cold.

--gh

14794.
What is left for me?
The steel sheath and coil bound key
my only keepsakes.

--Robin McDonald, immickey@earthlink.net

14795.
I'm crying big tears!
Cherry blossoms are no good
When deep-fried with SPAM.

--Eel Woman, themole@sympatico.ca

14796.
I am in pain now
I am hurting with desire
I am barfing SPAM

--Damian Terrell, proscout2000@yahoo.com

14797.
bucky and cooter
covered my SPAM with litter
next to kitty poop

--MILHOUSE

14798.
be my lover, SPAM
and touch me in the morning
you stained my pillow

--MILHOUSE

14799.
late night, street corner
gave a hand job for three bucks
I NEEDED MY SPAM!

--MILHOUSE

14800.
nonoxynol 9?
I prefer my SPAMicide
put your jim-hat on

--MILHOUSE


Move forwards to Numbers 14801-14900.
Return to the SPAM Haiku Archive page.
John Nagamichi Cho


SPAM is a registered trademark of Hormel Foods Corporation for luncheon meat. The Haiku Archive Master and the contributors to this website have no legal, commercial or financial involvement with Hormel Foods. Neither the information presented here, nor the manner in which it has been presented, has been sanctioned by Hormel Foods.